The Doors

Ed Ruscha’s Wall Rockets

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Written & Photographed by Kenn Sava.

This is Part 2 of my look at Ed Ruscha/Now Then at MoMA. Part 1 is here, Part 3 is here.

From the late 1950s, through the early 1960s Ed Ruscha made regular trips back and forth between Oklahoma City, where he grew up, and L.A., his adopted home since the late 1950s. In 19621, he Photographed the gas stations that caught his eye on these journeys with his trusty Yashika Twin-reflex camera, taking 60 or 70 Photographs2. In an interview in 1973 he said, “What used to belong to the Navaho and Apache Indians now belongs to the white man and he’s got gas stations out there. So, I started seeing it as cultural curiosities.”

“I’d always wanted to make a book of some kind.”

He continues. “When I was in Oklahoma I got a brainstorm in the middle of the night to do this little book called Twentysix Gasoline Stations. I knew the title. I knew it would be photographs of twenty-six gasoline stations3.” “The first book came out of a play with words. The title came before I even thought about the pictures. I like the word ‘gasoline’ and I like the specific quality of ‘twenty-six4.'”  “Months went into the planning of that. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble by loosening up. You know, not gotten so concerned with how I wanted the thing to look. I changed the form about fifty times at the printer’s5.” He self-published Twentysix Gasoline Stations in 1963 (although the title page states 1962).

You’re looking at a revolution. Twentysix Gasoline Stations, 1963, revolutionized the Artist book, the PhotoBook, and street-side Phtography, with unique design, turning gas station Photography into a genre in the process. This copy was hanging for visitors to peruse, which was somewhat surprising as it’s now a rare book- even this second edition copy is worth hundreds of dollars. Knowing all of it from reproductions, this was the first time I was able to page through an actual copy of it. Pictures in this piece are thumbnails. Click on any for full size.

It’s an Artist’s book/PhotoBook whose influence is now incalculable.

Published in an edition of 400 copies, a case can be made that it ‘s the most influential PhotoBook of the contemporary period after Robert Frank’s The Americans (which the Artist acknowledges as an influence). Twentysix Gasoline Stations, with its “industrial” look and feel stood at odds with the frequently hand-made Artist’s book norm to the time. Virtually every aspect of the Artist’s book was reimagined, from the typography and text layout on the cover to the sparseness of the interior contents, with a lack of text save for image titles.

Believe it or not, this is one of the most influential Photographs in Modern & Contemporary Photography. STANDARD, ARMADILLO, TX, perhaps the key image in Twentysix Gasoline Stations, went on to have multiple lives of its own, inspiring numerous Ed Ruscha Paintings, Drawings & Prints, as well as the work of other Artists.

Speaking of the end result, he said-

“I realized that for the first time this book had an inexplicable thing I was looking for, and that was a kind of a “Huh?” That‘s what I’ve always worked around. All it is is a device to disarm somebody with my particular message5.”

Having immersed myself in PhotoBooks for the past 7 years, and Art books most of my life, it’s impossible for me to overstate the influence Twentysix Gasoline Stations has had, and continues to have, on the Art world. It turned Art & PhotoBook creation and publishing on its head, rewriting what a book could be and who could make one. He’s said he meant the pictures to be “like a collection of readymades7,” a term and genre Marcel Duchamp put on the Art map. Still, it received a mixed reaction when it was released, including famously being rejected by the Library of Congress.

Standard Station, Amarillo, TX, 1963, Oil on canvas, 64 15/16 x 121 13/16 inches. The “locomotive” compositional device, seen in Large Trademark with Eight Spotlights, 1962, in Part 1, returns, splitting the composition in two, just the beginning of what’s fascinating about this.

“I would say I came to painting through photography,” Ed Ruscha8

The STANDARD, ARMADILLO, TX, Photograph begat the Standard Station, Amarillo, TX Painting in 1963. Obviously, the Photo just shown has been reworked, reimagined, or he based this on another Photo. Whatever the case may be, the resulting composition seen here would subsequently take many forms and become iconic. Standard Station, Ten Cent Western Being Torn in Half, below, followed a year later.The Paintings begat Standard Station, Amarillo, TX Prints, with Standard Station, Amarillo, TX Drawings being created along the way. So ubiquitous did they become that gas station Paintings and gas station Photography are now, basically, his genres. Sooner or later, everyone who shoots or Paints a gas station is going to be compared to Ed Ruscha. Many, like Vik Muniz, openly acknowledge the influence.

What strikes me are the abstract elements, like the selective detailing- you can read the prices on the gas pumps, but detail disappears on everything behind them, creating a surreal experience (the “realistic” gas pumps offset against the featureless building behind them), under that big red sign whose white lettering, offset against the engulfing darkness, feels bold.

Standard Station, Ten Cent Western Being Torn in Half, 1964, Oil on canvas, 65 x 121 1/2 inches. Mr. Ruscha has likened  the comic flying off the canvas to the upper right to a “coda” in Music. For me, it looks like debris, garbage, pollution. In this piece, the featureless building has light and shadows added to it. Once again, the numbers and text on the gas pumps are very legible.

At the time, Ed Ruscha shot them, gas stations were bastions of the new found freedom of the open road and the catalyst of the massive post-war westward exodus that the Artist, himself, became a part of. Over time, gas stations would be seen differently as the toll of pollution and environmental decay mounted.

Ed Ruscha’s second most famous Artist book/PhotoBook. A copy of the legendary Every Building on the Sunset Strip, 1966, published in one long accordion fold. Ed Ruscha put a tripod on the back of a truck and went up and down Sunset Strip taking one Photo after another until he had shot every building on both sides of the street. Here, we get one direction on the top of the page, with what’s across the street synchronized and mirrored along the bottom.

Further books followed- 14 more to 1972, the most famous of which is Every Building on the Sunset Strip, 1966, another ground-breaking work. Ed Ruscha has stated that part of the reason he went west after high school, instead of east, was because of the glamour of L.A. Here, he shows the “glamour” of the famous Sunset Strip in all its “glory.” Then, in 1973, he shot all 12 miles of Hollywood Blvd. In 2004, he reshot Hollywood Blvd in color, and paired with the 1972 images, they became the book THEN & NOW in 2005. It’s one example of Ed Ruscha combining his love of the effects of time with revisiting his past subjects.

In all the acclaim he receives I almost never hear credit given the Artist for his exceptional Painting technique- the equal of anyone else’s of his time. Right from the start, Painting after Painting reveals sublime subtlety and under-appreciated skill.  Then Now provided a glorious chance to study his, often large, Paintings up close and marvel at his skill and taste. It also provides the extremely rare chance to see works of the same subject side by side, particularly two of his famous Standard Gasoline Station Paintings.

Shows present once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to see great works united from distant parts of the globe for a brief time. That’s why I waited over an hour for the crowds to part to get this shot. More than likely, I’ll never see these two great Standard Stations together again. Both of these also feature the “speeding locomotive” compositional device seen in the Large Trademark Painting, which adds to the somewhat surreal overall effect, wonder and mystery.

Further to the Large Trademark Painting, Ed Ruscha also began Painting the sights of L.A., which again seems to be his domain to the point that I can’t think of anyone who Painted the city before he did. (I’m sure there were. Right?)

“Being in Los Angeles has had little or no effect on my work. I could have done it anywhere.” Ed Ruscha, Leave Any Information at the Signal, Statement in “West Coast Style”

Los Angeles County Museum on Fire, 1965-8, 53 1/2 x 133. 1/2 inches. Fun fact- Guess where Ed Ruscha/Now Then reopened on April 7, 2024 after closing at MoMA? You’re looking at it.

Los Angeles County Museum on Fire, 1965-8, like most of Ed Ruscha’s work, has been the subject of endless conjecture. Over the years, the Artist has made a few statements about it, including this one, “… There’s no great message here. It’s just a picture to look at9.” That might be hard to believe. After graduating college, he took that trip to Europe I mentioned in Part 1, and came away disappointed at the lack of Contemporary Art on view in the museums. Back home, things weren’t much better. Contemporary Art was slow to gain admission to the hallowed halls of institutions here. Is it a stretch to think this was somewhere on his mind when he Painted this? I tend to think it was in there somewhere. The Watts riots had recently taken place. The Now Then Catalogue has this to say about it-

“Ruscha’s characteristic denial of content ignores the fact that not far from his studio in mid-August 1965, just a few months after the inauguration of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, the city of Los Angeles was burning10.”

Ed Ruscha said, “The plain truth behind the Watts riots is that the riots themselves were good and beneficial and healthy regardless of loss of life. The Watts riots nationalized sympathy for a gigantic racial injustice11.”

He soon set a number of other sites on fire in his Paintings, including the an Amarillo Standard Station (which wasn’t in the show), and Norm’s, which was.

Norm’s, La Cienega, on Fire, 1964, Oil and pencil on canvas. The work features a complete lack of detail, save for the letters “ORMS” on the sign.  It’s interesting how the flames follow the “locomotive” line. Without those letters (which themselves are meaningless without the title), this Painting would be a completely abstract composition of shapes and lines.

For someone who’s so closely associated with L.A., and has been for over 60 years, it’s strange that some of his most well-known work shows L.A. landmarks being destroyed or in ruins. For example, he has continued to “destroy” the Hollywood sign, in different ways, over and over again throughout his career. Still, his fame continued to rise as did his association with the city. In spite of all this (and possibly because of it), in 1978, a six-story(!) tall mural (also referred to as the “Ed Ruscha Monument”) of the Artist was created by the Artist Kent Twitchell, for who Ed Ruscha was “the unorthodox hero of the art world.” Would anyone else be able to “destroy” a city’s landmarks and then become seen as the figurehead of that city’s Art community with a monument created for them? It didn’t happen for Nero. Unlike the emperor, Ed Ruscha didn’t actually destroy anything, except maybe in his mind and on some large canvases.

Rancho, 1968, Oil on canvas, which looks like it was made with a liquid, surrounded by Fire, Sin, Rustic Pines, each 1967, Gunpowder on paper, from left to right.

This calls to mind another thing Ed Ruscha doesn’t get enough credit for: innovation. In the 3rd, 4th and 5th galleries we see pieces made out of strange and unprecedented materials. Unhappy with the possibilities of paint or pencil, the Artist began exploring the possibilities of Drawing with gunpowder! The results, as seen above, are incredible. He found he had more control with it. In 1969, the Artist began going further, using unconventional materials in his Stains Portfolio of seventy-five substances ranging from L.A. tap water to egg yolk.

Installation view of Chocolate Room, 1971/2023, Chocolate on paper sheets.

His Chocolate Room for the United States Pavilion at the 1970 Venice Biennale, and recreated in a room of its own in Now Then, followed. After that, he began using a number of these “other” materials in his Word and Phrase Paintings.

Cotton Puffs, 1974. Egg yolk on moiré fabric, 36 × 40″

Along with this constant experimentation came the inevitable failure, like the egg yokes in Cotton Puffs, 1974, fading quickly. Ed has been remarkably cool with these. Accepting them for what they are12. (And probably learning in the process.) Each has its place in his oeuvre, with all the examples on view seeming to hold up remarkably well over the years given they are experiments. By the mid-70s, he had gone back to pastel on paper13. Though the materials experiments were short-lived, it led me to peruse the 7 volumes of the Ed Ruscha: Catalogue Raisonne of the Paintings, published by Steidl (which is a bit ironic- or fitting- because Steidl has published the work of any number of Photographers who include gas stations in their work, including the entirety of the 3-volume set, Gas Stop, by David Freund), which revealed that this insatiable exploration of materials was only the tip of his creativity iceberg. Paging through it (which only goes up to 2011 at this point), I was amazed to discover that though he has created a number of works with ostensibly the same subject, no two are identical. The differences are obvious or subtle. Still, this speaks to Ed Ruscha’s seemingly endless powers of invention and refusal to repeat himself verbatim. I was stunned when I discovered this, which was completely unexpected (though I should have been tipped off by what his STANDARD STATION, ALBUQUERQUE Photograph became). Seeing this range and variety gave me a glimpse of insight into just what may be keeping him going and creating since the late 1950s.

Wall Rockets, 2000, Acrylic on canvas

Perhaps THE highlight of Ed Ruscha/Now Then at MoMA for me was the chance to see 6 of the 10 Paintings from the Artist’s Course of Empire series. As I’ve looked at his work over the past 24 years of this century, these have fascinated me as much as any other work by Mr. Ruscha. Created for, and then debuted, at the 2005 Venice Biennalle, they subsequently travelled to NYC where they were on display at the Whitney in a show of the same name, the last important (though small) Ed Ruscha show in NYC until Now Then. Somehow, I missed them there, so seeing 6 might be as close as I get to seeing them all.

3 works from Ed Ruscha’s Blue Collar series, 1993, on the 3 facing walls.

Occupying the large, penultimate gallery of the show, the Course of Empire Paintings strike me as serving as a touchstone for a number of Ed Ruscha themes. They also eerily presage what has been going on in much of NYC (and perhaps elsewhere) this decade, with a number of stores and businesses closing due to Covid, then more closing due to the realities of our post-Covid (if we are post-Covid) economy, many have changed hands in a short time. Others remain for rent. The shape, perspectives and lack of detailing on the one-story  buildings I find reminiscent of Standard Station, Ten Cent Western Being Torn in Half, seen earlier. In each, our point of view is the same, and the same as in that Standard Station Painting- they are seen from below.

At the opposite end of the gallery, the same scenes reappear in his Course of Empire series, 2005, now in color, though right and left are flipped. (The scene on the right wall is that depicted on the left wall in Blue Collar Photo, above this one. The scene on the left wall is the scene shown on the right wall of the Blue Collar series above this one.)

The series evolved over a period of 13 years, with Ed Ruscha Painting the 5 black & white pieces, titled Blue Collar, in 1992-

Blue Collar Trade School, 1992, Acrylic on canvas. The only multi-story structure in the series.

Returning to the subject and the same sites  in 2005, this time in color and showing the effects of time passing.

The Old Trade School Building, 2005, Acrylic on canvas

Perhaps, his most subtly powerful series, their under-stated compositions lead to open-ended interpretations.

Installation view of the complete Course of Empire, by Thomas Cole, 1834-36, as seen at The Met’s Thomas Cole’s Journey in 2018. The rise and fall of civilization as seen from the same place, with the same distinctive mountain peak appearing in each Painting.

Based on, and in homage to, Thomas Cole’s legendary Course of Empire series, 1834-6, (which I wrote about here), they are another instance of Ruscha revisiting earlier work, his Blue Collar series from 1992. These also highlight that alongside the humor in any number of his pieces, running parallel, is a real depth of concern. Concern for the country, the world, the environment.

Psycho Spaghetti Western #7, 2010-11, Acrylic on canvas

“It’s all just rape of the land for profit these days. It’s fairly sick. Southern California is all just one big city now. But what do you say about progress? … So something’s got to give, and the landscape’s the first thing that gives….There is a certain flavor of decadence that inspires me. And when I drive into some sort of industrial wasteland in America, with the themeparks and warehouses, there’s something saying something to me. It’s a mixture of those things that gives me some sense of reality and moves me along as an artist,” Ed Ruscha 14.

Taking full advantage of having such a long career, the Artist has revisited past themes, and places, fairly often to the point that it’s a running theme in his work. Change over time…for the better, or worse, is left to the viewer to decide. Ostensibly set in L.A., the structures in Blue Collar/Course of Empire could be literally anywhere. As such they have a universality to them (as do a number of other 21st century Ruscha’s) that sets them apart from his purely L.A. work, like his Hollywood sign pieces.

Our Flag, 2017, Acrylic on canvas. The last work in the show.

Thomas Cole influencing Ed Ruscha’s Blue Collar & Course of Empire series started me thinking about other possible influences on his work. I touched on some in Part 1. In Part 3, I’ll take a closer look at them, and then flip that coin over.

Part 3 is here. 

*- Soundtrack for this piece is “L.A. Woman” by The Doors, one of the ultimate L.A. bands, from the 1971 album of the same name. (Narrowly beating out “California Girls” by the Beach Boys from Summer Days (And Summer Nights), 1965.) Ed Ruscha was into “car culture” before moving to L.A., and after, among other things he has in common with the #1 L.A. band of its time. Notice the gas station Jim Morrison, “another lost angel,” to quote his lyric, stops in to about half way through-

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  1. Ed Ruscha: Catalogue Raisonne of the Paintings, Vol 7, P.476 ↩
  2. E.R., Tate, P.30 ↩
  3. Willoughby Sharp, ‘“… a kind of a Huh?”, An Interview with Edward Ruscha’, Avalanche, no.7, Winter/ Spring 1973, p.30. ↩
  4. ER, Tate, P. 31 ↩
  5. https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/edward-ruscha-1882/ed-ruscha-and-art-everyday ↩
  6. https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/edward-ruscha-1882/ed-ruscha-and-art-everyday ↩
  7. Reading Ed Ruscha, P.50 ↩
  8. Ed Ruscha, Photographer, P.7 ↩
  9. Ed Ruscha quoted in Ed Ruscha/Now Then Exhibition Catalog, P.21 ↩
  10. Ed Ruscha/Now Then Exhibition Catalog, P.21 ↩
  11. Ed Ruscha, Leave Any Information at the Signal, P.5 ↩
  12. E.R., Tate, P.65 ↩
  13. Ed Ruscha/Now Then, P.170 ↩
  14. Leave Any Information at the Signal, P.18 ↩

Shy No More! Josh Kern Breaks Through

Written & Photographed by Kenn Sava (*with Photos and Video by Josh Kern)

Shyness is an affliction that affects millions- around 7% of the U.S. population. For those who’ve dealt with it, it can, at times, feel like you’re living in a glass box while life in the world goes on outside. But, shyness isn’t something that only Americans suffer with, of course. Josh Kern, a college student in Dortmund, Germany was locked inside of himself by his shyness, with his writing as a means of recording his feelings and thoughts. Like these on his phone a few years back-

“But there’s also this endlessly deep pain because I want to express all of this, but have no clue how.” All Photos in this Post by, and courtesy of, Josh Kern from Fuck me. This one appears in the introductory pages. Click any Photo for full size.

His words record his frustration and yearning to break free. They also record the moment he did. As he recalls in the opening pages of his new, first, PhotoBook, Fuck me, “But I discovered a way to do it…I became obsessed with documenting the world around me. My camera was with me everywhere and it somehow became a part of myself. It gave me permission to not be shy and the ability to show how intense and beautiful I perceive life. I found something where I can shamelessly express what I feel, my critical view of our generation and myself and my love for life in general.”

The very next page is the defacto title page, reading “Fuck me,” with “from the inside out” scratched out.

Having dealt with shyness myself, Josh’s way out of it was one that caught me by surprise. One I’ve never heard recommended.

He picked up his camera. 


From then on, it went with him everywhere.

When I think of breaking out of shyness, it looks like this…

And lo and behold, seemingly as soon as he stepped out his door he found himself in a fabulously rich world of sights and incredible fleeting moments in the company of his great group of friends.

And this.

Having taken the first steps of getting out there and creating a body of Photos, he then went further. Josh compiled his work and created a book dummy of it. Then, he started a kickstarter campaign to fund its publication. 31 days later, 556 backers contributed over $20,000. towards its publication.

Personally? I find all of this utterly remarkable. That he was able to break through his shyness and discover himself in the process is an amazing achievement on its own- an invaluable real-life accomplishment that you get no “grade” for.

And then? There’s his PhotoBook. 

Fuck me’s covers reproduce one of Josh’s well-worn notebooks that he carries everywhere he goes, and that live his life with him. See BookMarks at the end for info about getting one.

Josh’s Fuck me was published by Calin Kruse’s Dienacht. I asked Calin how he came across Josh and this body of his work. He told me, “Through his teacher, Christoph Bangert, a great photographer himself, and an amazing person. We’ve known each other for a while, and he knows what I publish and what I like. I had a booth with my books and magazines at the Photobookfestival in Kassel. Josh was there with his school and Christoph, who encouraged him to show me his book dummy. That’s the first time I came across his project. I liked it, and I suggested some changes, but we didn’t talk about publishing the book together. This was in June, 2018. Very soon after that, Josh started a super successful kickstarter campaign to fund the printing cost, and he asked me in the middle of the campaign if I could imagine publishing it. It was released in September, 2018, so everything went very fast.” 

Now, 6 months later, almost 1,200 people have just about bought out the first edition. Including me. What do I think of it? I find Josh has developed his own style, that while it reminds me of the work of Nan Goldin and Ryan McGinley is resolutely his own. Interestingly, Josh shares a skateboarding background with fellow Photographers Todd Hido, Ed Templeton and Jason Lee, among others, and we see that, and possibly some of the resulting physical damage in his book. Perhaps, it’s from the same well-spring of daring that the edge in some of this work emanates from. He has a sharp eye for the intimate moment at its most expressive, which is aided to no end by his personal knowledge of his subjects, which he’s able to communicate to the total strangers looking at his work, transmitting bits of insights into them as well. Fuck me is a book that works on a number of levels. There’s the “breaking through shyness” level- a potentially invaluable example for countless others. Then, there’s the “documenting our lives” level. More on this later. Third? There’s a level where it becomes apparent how much Josh has learned from his influences and his teachers, assimilated them, and then created his own book. For someone in his early 20s? That’s remarkable, too. Having carried it around with me for a few months, I find that it’s a book that holds together in a wonderful way, passing through peaks of adventure followed by moments of introspection and repose, a book that positively drips with compassion and love for its subjects.

Fuck me strikes me as something of a throwback- in its technology and its values. Its shot on film, and not one digital or cellular device is seen in any of its subjects hands! It opts for real life, face to face interactions, which in contrast to those that take place online, are photographable and actually worth remembering and seeing again. In the end, Fuck me is a book that is a beautiful testament to the joy and intimacy of REAL Friendship, at a time when the word “friend” has been usurped and trivialized to the point that countless millions wonder who their REAL friends are. It’s a book that creates its own world (most of the time we have no idea where the action is taking place- it simply doesn’t matter), while leaving our world with wonderful images of time and experiences shared growing and evolving, right before our eyes. that most of us only carry around in our memories.

And, ALL of this is even more remarkable when you realize that Josh Kern is STILL a college Photography student.

See for yourself. Here in this video, Josh Kern, the Filmmaker(!), introduces Josh Kern, the Photographer, and Fuck me–

Better still, I’m very pleased to say that Josh agreed to answer some questions for me, taking time from his studies, creating new work and making more history with his friends to do so.

Kenn Sava (KS)- Josh, you’ve spoken about how “Photography gave me permission to not be shy and the ability to express myself which completely changed my life. If I can only inspire one person to do the same- I’m happy.” I’m curious how it happened. A number of the Photographers I’ve spoken with speak of it as a “solitary” craft, which would seem to reinforce shyness. Could you elaborate on how it gave you permission, how you were able to use it that led up to your breakthrough?

Josh Kern (JK)- My whole life, there have always been a few artists, who made me feel less alone. Whenever I felt like I don’t belong here, I turned to their work and biographies and although, most of them are dead, I immediately felt connected. It was like I had an anonymous club of misfits that only existed in my head. It made me believe that in this very moment there must be thousands of other people feeling the exact same things as I do.

When it came to creating my own art, I somehow tried to turn it around. I always felt everything so intensely and I had the desire to share it, but at the same time I was afraid what the people in my life would think about it. If someone would reject my work, that would mean that they would reject my true self, who I really am – and that would hurt a lot.

But I did it anyway and it was completely liberating because I felt like the people around me could finally see me and I don’t have to pretend anymore. It probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but for me it was everything. I started to believe that connection is only possible through vulnerability.

KS- On your site, you list quite a few of your friends who are artists and creative people. Did they, or others, help you, or was it something you had to do yourself?

JK- I would never have had the courage to share my work to this extent without the support of my friends. It was like, even if everyone hates me tomorrow, I still have them by my side to love, create and express ourselves how we want to. I always decline the common idea of the “lonely artist“ and I believe that every great work comes out of a close group of people who support each other, give feedback and exchange ideas.

KS- Was there a moment when you went from being a causal photographer to taking it more seriously? (If it’s not related- When did the body of work that became Fuck me start?)

JK- No, actually not. I just started taking pictures and since then my love for it increases day by day.

Also, I’m very careful to take my work seriously. I’m not sure how to explain it but I just love when an artist calls themselves an “amateur“ because to me it means he or she sees themself as an enthusiast who creates out of pure love and joy for the act of creating and not for fame or career.

KS- It seems like it would be hard for a shy person to take the next step to turn this body of work into a book, to reach out to the world for funding, as you did. Yet, you sound confident when I read things from that time. It sounds like substantial growth had occurred by that point. Can you speak about how were you able to do it?

JK- It all started in a seminar in the university. I slowly started to show pictures and notebook scans and because of the lovely support of my fellow students and my professor, I found the confidence to show more and more. But I had never really overcome my shyness when it came to people reading my writing while I’m in the same room. So we somehow came up with the agreement that no one reads my words and just looks at the scans as a picture, for editing. I always had in mind that publishing it is something that I will deal with in the future and when the day comes I will just close my eyes and hope for the best.

That’s probably also the reason why I sound confident in my writing – although I’m not – because I always tell myself that right now I’m only writing for myself and no one’s ever going to see it. I somehow treat the thought about sharing it or not as something completely separate that I will deal with in the far future. I’m even doing this right now. It’s funny how we can trick our mind.

But don’t get me wrong, it was still one of the scariest things to do. It will forever be frightening to open myself up. But to be honest, I don’t even want it to be easy, only interesting and as an opportunity to grow. I guess that’s what all this is about for me.

“I really want to come to the point where I have nothing to fear anymore. I want to be free. I want to be the most vulnerable person in the room. I want to bleed. I want to puke blood. I want to suffer and I want to go through every single thing that could harm me.”

KS- In the book it appears you are shooting your Friends and people you know a bit. Are you able to shoot strangers, or would that be another step?

JK- I only tend to photograph very good friends. Probably because they are used being photographed all the time and because of that they act natural in my presence.

Also, most of the time I’m very, very nervous around people I don’t really know and because of that I have a hard time focusing on taking pictures.

Shooting strangers would be definitely something different, but I’m working on myself and would love to try out new things.

KS- It seems you have a remarkably open and camera friendly group of Friends. Did you get any push back, any “Don’t take a Photo of this!” from them?

JK- Yes, they are amazingly open and I feel very, very lucky because of that.

It’s really important to me that if someone doesn’t want a picture to be published, I simply don’t and keep it only for us. Probably because they know this fact, they trust me and don’t really care what I’m doing with my camera and I’m completely free to photograph whatever I want.

KS- What are you own rules for what not to shoot?

JK-This is an uncomfortable question because sometimes I feel like I’m an asshole when it comes to this point. But when someone gets hurt and/or needs my help, I put my camera down, although I have to admit that these situations are mostly the shots that I admire the most.

Also, I always have to remind myself to enjoy the time with my friends because it happens that I only see them through my camera, as a story, and it feels like I forget to really live my life and to be present with them.. which is tricky because I feel that I’m the most happy and fulfilled by living my life through my camera.

KS- What was the reaction of the Friends you photographed  when they saw the book?

JK- Since they already knew every photo in it and I asked most of them to help me editing and to look through a new dummy every few days, it wasn’t a surprise to them. But they were all really proud of how it came out, which made me very happy.

KS- We see your iPhone in the book. Can we see a photo of your camera now? I’m curious what it looks like after having been through all of these adventures.

Josh sent this great shot of his Minolta X-300 in response to my request. March, 2019. I’m so glad I asked for it.

JK- I’m really good at destroying my cameras and I always bought a used Minolta for like 20 Euros on eBay every few months again.

I recently got a Nikon FM because I wanted something that lasts a bit longer, but I miss my Minolta and I’m planning on getting one again.

KS- You’ve mentioned a very wide range of influences from Petra Collins to Ryan McGinley to Luc Delahaye and Jim Goldberg, among Photographers, as well as films, and books. Who’s been influencing you more lately (since Fuck me)?

JK- Somehow I cant get off the book Winterreise by Luc Delahaye, which also inspired Fuck Me very much.

From Winterreise by Luc Delahaye. I know that my many Russian readers and friends take issue with the way Mr. Delahaye and other Western Photographers show their country. I understand and respect they feel that way. I’ve never been there. Still? I agree with Josh about Winterrieise, and I find it to be one of the exceptional PhotoBooks of this young century. Though only published in 2003, I see its influnence in so many books being released today.

Also from Winterreise by Luc Delahaye. Along with the pathos, I find quite a bit of beauty in what Mr. Delahaye depicts, and of course, in his work.

I discovered it almost a year ago and still to this day, I take it with me on every trip and flip through it almost every day. The same goes for Hermann Hesse. My love and affection for him increases every time I reread his books and letters.

There’s something about these two artists that I cant put into words. It’s like they sacrifice themselves and their whole being only in order to create. They would die for their work – probably not, but thats what it feels like to me.

Josh Kern, Self-portrait, not included in Fuck me.

I’m really missing this mentality in a lot of people today. Somehow I feel like everyone is afraid to take themselves or their work seriously.

I don’t want to sound too negative, there are still so many great artists out there, but somehow I cant find anyone that keeps up with these two. At least for me right now.

KS- How about Painters? Are there any who’s work has spoken to you, earlier or now?

JK- Although I really admire the art of painting and some of my friends are painters, I never really got into it. But from what I have seen I really like the work of Malcolm T. Liepke.

KS- What do you listen to?

JK- Lately I’m a bit lost when it comes to music. But I will forever stick to Car Seat Headrest, The Strokes, The Cure,  The Modern Lovers, Velvet Underground, Wolf Alice and Sonic Youth.

Josh Kern, in his Raymond Pettibon designed Sonic Youth Goo cover T, doesn’t let brushing his teeth keep him from getting the shot. He wrote this about this Photo- “A Saturday night. We were beaten up by two or three guys and ended up at my place, where I took this photograph. It’s funny, but you’d never imagine that Naomi is the kind of girl who won’t let people get away with saying shit. She is though.”

KS- You’ve talked about going in a different direction with your second book. Very exciting! Can you give us any hints what it might be like, or how it’s “different?”

JK-Ah, yes, haha. Somehow I have a new idea about how I want it to be every day anew. At first, I wanted to dedicate the book to my younger self, with notes in it about what I wish I had known a few years back. Then, I wanted it to be more like a novel, with writing and a story.. and now, I’m back at the classic photobook, with no notes and writing at all. I have no idea what I will come up with next. I just take photographs and create journal like before, make a lot of dummies and try things out. And I’m in love with it. Making books is by far my favorite thing to do.

KS- How do you feel about school now? Has it been worth it for you, or do you feel you’ve learned mostly on your own by getting out there and creating?

JK- I’m so grateful for studying photography! Not really about the stuff we learn in classes, but more about the people I got to know. Theres no other place in the world where you meet so many people who are as passionate about photography as you are. Also, I had a teacher, Christoph Bangert, who inspired and motivated me like crazy and somehow gave me the courage to publish my book. It would have never happened without him and I would have never met him without the university.

KS- From where you are now, what would you say to someone who is where you were, struggling with their shyness?

JK- I can only speak for myself, but finding something that you love and then overcoming the fear of sharing your excitement is everything to me. It’s so important to be in love and to stand up for something you truly believe in, no matter what it is. Your problems probably won’t disappear because of that, but it will make all this suffering seem like it has its purpose. In the end, you just need something that’s worth being made fun of.

Q&A Ends———

I was talking to a photographer friend, one of my old drinking buddies, the other day about Josh’s book. I said to him-“Hey, why don’t we have photos of our old days hanging out making history? Ours took place in some of the same places Patti Smith hung out in in  Just Kids. We don’t have the photos, we don’t have the book.”

But Josh Kern does.

In 10 or 20 years, his friends are going to be very glad he took these pictures.

In the meantime, I share Josh’s hope that his work will inspire someone else to break out and break through.

BookMarks-

Update- July, 2019- Fuck me is now sold out and out of print at the publisher. As far as I know, these are the only new copies available for sale anywhere. They’re being offered while they last, subject unsold. 

Because I know readers are going to ask, “Ok. Where can I get a copy?” The answer is that as I write this, Fuck me isn’t available anywhere in the USA (as far as I know). So, I went ahead and bought some extra copies and I am very excited to make them available to my readers- something I’ve never done in the 3 1/2 years of NHNYC.

Here are the particulars-

Fuck me by Josh Kern
-196 pages
-4.13 x 6 inches (10.5 x 15 cm)
-Offset printing, in full color throughout.
-First edition/first printing, Published by Dienacht, 2018
-Softcover with open stitch binding.
-And no- There is no sex or nudity in it.

A few others- As Josh said, Luc Delahaye’s Winterreise is a book I, also, recommend. It’s out of print, but copies in very good condition still trade reasonably in hard or softcover. While it’s somewhat overlooked among recent PhotoBooks by the general public, it’s not by other Photographers, including Josh, and this one.

Dan Eldon was a multi-talented Artist/Photographer/Journalist/Humanitarian who was tragically killed in Somalia at the age of 22 while doing his job as a PhotoJournalist for Reuters. When I first saw Josh’s book, I immediately wondered what Dan Eldon might have thought of it. I asked Josh in a follow-up what he thought of Dan Eldon’s work and he said “Dan is definitely on my list.” Dan Eldon created Journals that combined his writing, Photography, ephemera and just about anything into amazingly unique works that have been published since his death. Dan’s The Journey Is the Destination, Revised Edition: The Journals of Dan Eldonis another classic, in my view, that gets far too little attention. He was an extraordinary man, who lived an extraordinary life that everyone else’s would be enriched by knowing about. As Josh eloquently put it above- Dan Eldon was killed creating his work. Far, far too early.

Regarding Josh’s fave bands, for lovers of NYC’s own The Strokes, check out Julian Casablancas & The Voidz’ album, Tyranny, if you haven’t heard it, which I think is just terrific. One of Mr. Casablancas’s big influences happens to be the band I picked for the Soundtrack for this Post…

*- Soundtrack for this Post is “Break On Through (To The Other Side),” by The Doors, the first single released from their first album in 1967, speaking of debuts…

My thanks to Calin Kruse and Josh Kern. 

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Written & photographed by Kenn Sava for nighthawknyc.com unless otherwise credited.
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